When Giants Shrink

 

“Aslan,” said Lucy, “You’re bigger.”

“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.

“Not because you are?”

“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”

-Prince Caspian by C. S. Lewis

 

    This passage meant nothing to me as a child when my mother read it to me. But now, as I read, “The Chronicles of Narnia,” to my children for the first time, I cannot read it without tears.

    All the giants in my life- teachers, grandparents, parents, pastors, leaders- have gotten smaller as I have gotten older. They have grown older and as they age, chinks appear in their armor, they become less capable of doing the many things they once did, they shrivel, they leave, and ultimately, they die. 

    Sometimes, worst of all, they lose their faith or are overcome by sin.

    I still have not recovered from the first time this happened to one of my giants. And the older I get, the more and more of my giants shrink.   

     My fear is this: if these giants fall, what does that say about the Savior they taught me to trust? Will He, too, collapse like so much cardboard left out in the rain?

     But, like Lucy, I have found Jesus to grow only bigger the longer I’ve trusted Him. Every challenge I muddle, whine, and struggle through- His Holy Spirit is there, and His word is the Truth that sustains my life. I often realize that He’s been holding my hand all along, breathing beside me in the dark, even when I didn’t know it, even when I didn’t understand.

     And it seems to me that this might be the very reason He gave me the giants to begin with- not that they would remain my giants forever, forever protecting me and guiding me, but simply to point me to His own dear self- the One who would never shrink, who would never change, who would never leave me nor forsake me.

      And someday, when I weaken, and shrink, and fall, and my children are left behind, He will come for me, as He came for my giants. I pray that my faith would have shown my children the way to believe in He who will always be more than big enough for them.  

Hebrews 12:1-2 CSB

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before Him, He endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.