The View from Rockriver Hill

  Thy Word is a Lamp unto my Feet and a Light Unto my Path -Psalm 119:105                  Saying that the Bible has changed my life is like saying that sunlight has changed my life. There is no life without the sun, and for me, there is no life without the Word of God.   It has changed everything . And not just in my life, but the lives of my parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. It is safe to say that I would not exist if not for the Bible. A lot has been written about why the Bible is True, why it is historically accurate, why the current Biblical Canon is reliable and how the book came to be in its current form- if you have questions about any of those things, there are resources out there that will answer your questions. A good place to start is The Bible Questions by Hal Seed. Many do not believe the Bible is True. And often, upon respectful inquiry, I discover that...

                   A few years ago, the Lord gave me a calling that was obviously impossible by all worldly measurements. I had somehow found myself newly leading a ministry organization that was on the edge of collapse. For the first time in my life, I received a clear and individual calling from the Lord. The conversation went something like this:                 Me: “Lord what would you have me sacrifice in order that others would come to know you?”                 The Lord : “Rebuild the ministry I’ve put into your hand.” Me: “Oh, Lord, I meant like money or stuff. Lord, rebuilding this thing would be IMPOSSIBLE. I can’t DO IT. I don’t even know how.” The Lord : “With me, all things are possible. Rebuild it.” Me: “But it’s going to be WAY HARD. I don’t want to do this! It’...

            After the birth of my second child, I was searching for ways to lose my extra baby weight. I’d used The Whole 30 to lose weight after the birth of my 1 st , but if you’ve ever tried the Whole 30, it’s great while you’re on it, but it only lasts 30 days, and then you don’t know what to do. I knew I wanted to stick with unprocessed, whole foods, but even unprocessed whole foods, when eaten without guidelines, did not help me lose that last stubborn 20 pounds or so. I tried veganism, briefly, reading the book Eat to Live , whose author believes that humans can live off the protein in broccoli, and apparently don’t need much fat in their diets. It worked okay for me for a few months, and I did lose weight, but I often felt exhausted, it dried out my hair and nails, and worst of all, it stripped the fat from my breastmilk, and my 1-year-old nursling stopped gaining weight. I returned to whole foods again, and of course gained back everything...

  I sometimes tell my son, “Lying to others is a sin. But lying to yourself is also a sin, and it is the worst kind of lying, because after a while, you will believe yourself, and you won’t know the difference between your lies and the Truth anymore.” C.S. Lewis focuses on this theme of lies and Truth throughout his book, ‘Till We Have Faces, based on the timeless myth of Cupid and Psyche. This has always been my favorite myth. It is not part of the original Greek Canon of mythology- it was first written down by a Roman, Apuleius, in his work, “The Golden Ass.” I don’t recommend the “Golden Ass,” unless you just really love Roman literature, BUT imbedded in the middle of this bawdy, bizarre, rambling Roman comedy is a myth of ethereal and timeless beauty, “The Marriage of Cupid and Psyche.” If you’re not familiar with this myth, you can most closely relate it to other stories it eventually birthed, such as Beauty and the Beast.        ...

  In 2007, my husband and I moved into a travel trailer on my in-law’s property to start building our new custom home.   We had $60,000 in remaining student loan debt and we needed to save at least $300,000 to build the house.  We would need to save $72,000 a year to make this happen in 5 years. Desperately afraid that this goal would be impossible, I began researching budgeting and stumbled on an excellent book by Amy Dacyczyn called The Tightwad Gazette . Though many of the suggestions are dated (even more so in 2020) and didn’t always apply to our situation, the book is extremely well-written and an enjoyable read. The overall philosophy of the author has drastically shaped my thinking about our spending habits. I learned to ask myself: “Does what I’m spending satisfy me as much as the money is worth?” You will never have enough money to buy all the things you want- so what do you want MOST? For me, having a beautiful paid-for-home, being debt-free, and stay...

       My husband knows what he is getting for Christmas this year.  Every year he wants the same thing: The Story of Us.  Every year I sit down and write out, month by month, the events of the year, the adventures of our family, and our hopes for the future.  In the past, I've printed it out and included photo sheets, but a few years ago, I found out about a website called Blurb that lets me create a magazine on my computer, and for a pretty reasonable price, will ship me a one of a kind full-color book. It reminds me a lot of when I used to be a high school yearbook advisor.  These gifts are priceless year after year, and I'm always astonished at how much I have forgotten throughout the year.  This year was particularly painful to write as I sifted through the many pictures and events that shaped 2020. Still, the sifting is good. It gives me time to process many griefs that I had pushed to the back of my heart throughout the year to make r...

  “Aslan,” said Lucy, “You’re bigger.” “That is because you are older, little one,” answered he. “Not because you are?” “I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.” -Prince Caspian by C. S. Lewis       This passage meant nothing to me as a child when my mother read it to me. But now, as I read, “The Chronicles of Narnia,” to my children for the first time, I cannot read it without tears.     All the giants in my life- teachers, grandparents, parents, pastors, leaders- have gotten smaller as I have gotten older. They have grown older and as they age, chinks appear in their armor, they become less capable of doing the many things they once did, they shrivel, they leave, and ultimately, they die.       Sometimes, worst of all, they lose their faith or are overcome by sin.     I  still have not recovered from the first time this happened to one of my giants. And the older I get, the more and mor...

  I thought about Caden* again today. It happens every time I sit down at the piano. For a year in high school, my mother had arranged for me to have free piano lessons from a kind neighbor who lived down the street. I babysat her children for an hour every week, and in exchange, she gave me a 30- minute piano lesson.   The lady had two children, a girl who was about 5 years old, and a 3-year-old, Caden. The thing about Caden was that his mother had contracted toxoplasmosis when she was pregnant with him (that’s the thing they warn pregnant women about and why they should avoid changing kitty litter) and the result for Caden was severe birth defects. At 3 years old, he sat in a special chair most of the time. He could not walk, he could not crawl, and though he was bigger than a 6-month-old, developmentally he could do only about what a 6-month-old could do.   As far as his future was concerned, children with his condition did not usually live past their 10 th birthd...

                  What should I do with the children all summer? I prayed this last spring when all our summer plans had been cancelled, the library was closed, the schools were closed, and even church was closed. I was facing 3 months of unscheduled time with my 3 children- ages 3, 5, and 7. No one could help me and nothing I could do would open the world again.                 As I prayed, I got a glimmer of an idea. Later that day, I took out a huge sheet of paper and had a brainstorming session with the children. What creative, non-screen, projects did we want to work on this summer? The list soon filled up with all the things we don’t usually have time for: Creative Writing, Drawing, Sewing, Hikes to the Creek, Unicorn Tea Parties, and Pottery made the list among other things.               ...

     The apples are ripe again. As are the pomegranates. As with many blessings…. the orchard comes with responsibility.  I did not plant it, plan it, or raise it- but I do get to benefit from it, and I am increasingly responsible for it.  One of the primary issues with fruit from the orchard, is that it all ripens within a few weeks or days of itself, and it is far more than we can possibly eat, or sometimes even pick, before it spoils. We have apricots, pears, grapes, apples, pomegranates, persimmons, and cherries. Every year, we are faced with the task of finding some way to preserve, give away, harvest, and store the bounty of the orchard. Sugar is also another real issue with orchard fruit. Fruit is super-healthy, but eaten in large quantities (unless you are incredibly active and have a fast metabolism) will make you very fat, and give you tummy troubles. Dried fruit requires particular caution. Many people make preserves, but this also requires add...

Have you ever had a picture taken of the inside of your eye? I have. During finals week of my freshman year of high school, a small grey cloud began to grow inside the upper right corner of my right eye. At first, this just made scantrons and applying eye shadow difficult, but as the cloud grew, it soon took over my entire field of vision. I could no longer read whiteboards, or books, I lost my depth perception, and began experiencing a severe ache in my left eye because of the extra strain. My mother took me to the eye doctor and he was alarmed at what he saw, and immediately referred us to the Stein Eye Institute at UCLA. My files were faxed there and we drove the 3 hours to Los Angeles. The doctors there took pictures of my retina (much more difficult in 1998 than it is now,) shone lots of lights in my eyes, and asked me many strange questions. No, I did not think I had an eye parasite. No, I did not think I had a fungal eye infection.   No, I had not travelled t...

  Salt      Today I’m grateful for salt. Literal salt, that we use to preserve food, and to enhance flavor. We used a great deal of salt this week trying to salt cure olives. It’s our first year growing olives and my first attempt at curing them. I know some people use lye, but I am nervous about that, so we decided to try salt. It has to sit for 3 weeks, and I have to stir it every day. I’ll let you know in December how they turned out.  But I’m also grateful for the salt of the earth that is, the Christians in the Kingdom of Heaven. Like my mother before me, I can’t usually get through church without my mascara streaming down my face, and my children looking at me warily and wondering if everything is okay because mother is crying. Again. Today I was crying for joy. Sometimes when I worship, I feel as if I can barely just glimpse the Church of Jesus Christ- spread across time and space- in the Kern River Valley, in Kern County, in California, Canada, Mexico,...