Life in Lake Isabella #1- An Urgent Message to all the MEN WHO ARE PLANNING TO MOVE THEIR WIVES TO TO LAKE ISABELLA

 

For my next few blog posts, I will be focusing on the top 5 things to know about living in the Kern River Valley, especially if you are originally from a well-established city.

Nearly 16 years ago, I married my new husband and moved from my home in the Rosedale area of Bakersfield to Lake Isabella in the Kern River Valley. For many people, it is simply home- for me, the area has been a constant surprise.  

The first thing to know about living in the Kern River Valley (this seems to bother women the most) is that there is limited shopping. You can buy food, and gas, and, depending on the economy and bravery of local merchants, there are sometimes pricey little boutiques in Kernville (the touristy, quaint, area of the KRV), but if you just want to go to Target or Old Navy to buy a pair of cheap, cute, summer shorts and actually try them on to make sure they look nice on you- you need to drive West an hour to Bakersfield.

The road to Bakersfield is Highway 178, affectionally called, “The Canyon,” and it is so scary that I know locals who refuse to drive it. It is literally one of the most dangerous roads in California.

People die in the canyon on a nearly monthly basis. Some months are bloodier than others. Alcohol is sometimes a factor, but not always. People drive off the edge of the canyon and people run into the side of the canyon and bad drivers try to pass in dangerous areas and run slow drivers off the road. There are multiple turn-outs for the protection of the slow drivers- but many slow drivers refuse to use them, making the dangerously fast and even not-so-fast drivers IRATE.

Occasionally, Criminals hide dead bodies and stolen vehicles in the canyon.

All this is worse on holiday weekends when out-of-towners who do not respect the canyon drive up the highway by the thousands.  

Not counting the human factor, there are also winding blind curves, wildfires, steep drop-offs, falling rocks, rock-slides, rain-slick and icy roads, wild animals (such as bobcats, deer, mountain lions, squirrels, field mice, etc.), and COWS. In the Road.

For some reason, all these things make the canyon road very popular with motorcyclists.

There is even a sign near the mouth of the canyon that indicates that a cow could fall on your car from the hills above- While you are driving! How do you prevent something like that?

I used to take monthly trips to Bakersfield to do my shopping, but now that I have 3 children who are constantly with me, I often just settle for what clothes I can buy online. The results are hit and miss. If you come to visit, and you notice that my shorts look like something I dragged out of a lake- well, maybe they were, and it was the best I could do. 

Most often, men are the ones responsible for moving their wives to Lake Isabella. And who can blame them? There are wide open spaces, low property values, blue skies, wilderness, fishing, and a sense that time doesn’t really pass here.

But on behalf of the women of the world, I want to send a message to all the MEN WHO ARE PLANNING TO MOVE THEIR WIVES TO THE KERN RIVER VALLEY: How will you make sure she can go to Target or Old Navy?

You have to think these things through if you want a happy wife.

Oh, and don't go swimming in the river. Just don't.